Revolt is a nice product but as far as I'm aware they don't enable self-hosting or decentralized. It's just one big hosted hub, right?

Not familiar but they seem to allow self hosting[1], as well as both the frontend[2] and backend[3] is open.

[1]: https://github.com/revoltchat/self-hosted

[2]: https://github.com/revoltchat/revite

[3]: https://github.com/revoltchat/delta

Ah yes, nothing inspires confidence quite like

> This is still a work-in-progress and some things may not work but for the most part everything has been tested without issue!