I've been in your place. I was 36 when I decided to separate, after 7 years of marriage/10 years of relationship with my first serious relationship ever. It was also a few months before the first COVID lockdown, so I could say I was really alone. At least physically, I had my family and some friends, but I had also recently moved to a new city. The circle of colleagues who I'd thought would become my social circle disappeared overnight due to COVID.
In the past 6 years I've made a small circle of friends who live physically close, the kind that you don't need to plan 3 weeks ahead to meet. Just pick up the phone and meet in 15 minutes. I feel that this is a fundamental block for wellbeing. I grew up with the Internet, I love it to bits, but it's no replacement for human contact.
You've also read about hobbies. In my particular case I picked up the ukulele. During lockdown I participated in an online session that happened daily. That formed a community, and although I don't go to those online sessions anymore, I made friends, and I meet them a couple of times a year, when we meet at ukulele festivals to play together. A smaller group we meet every 2 or 3 months at someone's house to play for a couple of hours and have lunch. I myself run a monthly session at a pub, where we gather a small bunch.
To this day I have not gone into dating anyone consistently. I tried a couple of times, but they weren't the right person. Although I'd like it very much to date someone, it's not really a big thing in my life.
I am, of course, living in a city where I can walk to most places. I am not sure I would be able to do this in a suburb. It's a genuine fear I have that moving away from the city, being as single as I've been in the last years, would make me become a monk, and learn the ways of distilling whisky, or transcribe bibles.
I don't have much advise from this, really. Meeting people for the sake of knowing them (rather than trying to get into another relationship), be a little vulnerable, be open to be a little inconvenienced. We really do need each other to survive out there.
I really hope things improve for you, and that you find your community <3
I separated around the same time, and at about the same age, also in a new city. It was rough. A city I never wanted to be in. I'd never find friends there.
A few years later, I have a couple friends that like you, I can just call them up or text and they're available. There are great places to meet, eat, and clubs to join.
I've been in your place. I was 36 when I decided to separate, after 7 years of marriage/10 years of relationship with my first serious relationship ever. It was also a few months before the first COVID lockdown, so I could say I was really alone. At least physically, I had my family and some friends, but I had also recently moved to a new city. The circle of colleagues who I'd thought would become my social circle disappeared overnight due to COVID.
In the past 6 years I've made a small circle of friends who live physically close, the kind that you don't need to plan 3 weeks ahead to meet. Just pick up the phone and meet in 15 minutes. I feel that this is a fundamental block for wellbeing. I grew up with the Internet, I love it to bits, but it's no replacement for human contact.
You've also read about hobbies. In my particular case I picked up the ukulele. During lockdown I participated in an online session that happened daily. That formed a community, and although I don't go to those online sessions anymore, I made friends, and I meet them a couple of times a year, when we meet at ukulele festivals to play together. A smaller group we meet every 2 or 3 months at someone's house to play for a couple of hours and have lunch. I myself run a monthly session at a pub, where we gather a small bunch.
To this day I have not gone into dating anyone consistently. I tried a couple of times, but they weren't the right person. Although I'd like it very much to date someone, it's not really a big thing in my life.
I am, of course, living in a city where I can walk to most places. I am not sure I would be able to do this in a suburb. It's a genuine fear I have that moving away from the city, being as single as I've been in the last years, would make me become a monk, and learn the ways of distilling whisky, or transcribe bibles.
I don't have much advise from this, really. Meeting people for the sake of knowing them (rather than trying to get into another relationship), be a little vulnerable, be open to be a little inconvenienced. We really do need each other to survive out there.
I really hope things improve for you, and that you find your community <3